I love the integrity of nature, always true to itself.   No second thoughts, no rationalizations, justifications or judgment.   Just instinct and truth.  On my path I try to free the wild animal in me.

The human being is the only beast that extends its claws when no real threat is near.

Right now my heart wants to love without bounds.  Without limits.  Without protection.  To have the courage to love so completely, and keep loving this way even in those moments where my heart is breaking.  That I may have the courage to weep in excruciating sensitivity instead of protecting and getting angry.  To ask for all I desire, and give until I am no more.  To love with the delicate innocence of the child within, to love with the soul-stirring passion of the man I have become.  To life and die in love!

As my good friend Don Juan de Marco said,

"There are only four questions of value in life.
What is sacred?
Of what is the spirit made?
What is worth living for?
What is worth dying for?
The answer to each is the same... Only love."

The Impossible Dream

(Leigh/Darion)
To dream the impossible dream
To fight the unbeatable foe
To bear the unbearable sorrow
To run where the brave dare not go

To right the unrightable wrong
To love pure embrace from afar
To try when your arms are too weary
The reach the unreachable star

This is my quest, to follow that star
No matter how hopeless,
No matter how far
To fight for the right
Without question or pause
To be willing to march into hell
For a heavenly cause

And I know if I'll only be true
To this glorious quest
That my heart will be peaceful and calm
When I'm laid to my rest

And the world would be better for this
That one man scorned and covered with scars
Still strove with his last ounce of courage
To reach the unreachable star


It is in the hopes of the hopeless, the courage to be true to oneself, in the tears that shed our pride upon the ground, that we touch the potentiality that IS the stuff that dreams are made of.  In surrendering to the impossibility of what we seek, that we make it possible. 

I love this song, and I have, as long as I can remember.  Although the words take on different meaning as I mature, as I shed falsehood and defenses from my being.

The few of the words that I would want to change in the song are these

That my heart will be peaceful and calm
When I'm laid to my rest

The notion is good enough, living with integrity so that the soul's unrest is not carried into the next life.  But I think this part of the song would speak to me more if it was of the spirit of the war cry,

What we do in this lifetime, echoes an eternity!

So, if it more like this

'though my body may break
my passion lives on
I am the thunder
born of these flashes of light

it doesn't rhyme but that's OK.  Rhyme should serve the words, not words serve the rhyme.

Yes, I like this.  Excuse me, I've got some singing to do.  Would you like to join me?

one......  two.....  three.......  four........

I used to say the macho statement "I don't need safety.  Life, truth and revelation all come through risk."  While the second half of the statement is true, I think we all fundamentally need a sense of safety.  Whether or not the origins of this come from the inner child,  I think we all feel more peaceful and more clear when we feel safe.  Now "safe" does not necessarily mean "protected," for many self-imposed "prisons" were first built as "castle walls."  For many, "safety" means to preserve or protect something.

But I can still risk and feel safe, and this comes from not trying to preserve what is not real, and knowing that what is real, cannot be threatened.  I feel safe in the idea that everything is as it should be, and I am not the dancer, I am the dance.  And so I dance, I sing, I fly, I am.

Forgiveness is release. Forgiveness is healing.  Forgiveness allows love to flow.

The most liberating forgiveness I have experienced is when I forgive myself.  It can be like healing broken legs to walk and move forward again, touching a hardened heart so that one can feel again. 

I try to grow each day in awareness, courage, strength and tenderness in my heart.  But there are ways that I am weak, that I am needy, and I need to forgive myself each day to free myself to be me.

http://www.davidstanleybell.com/newsletter/archives/Sept2009PoetryfortheJourneyNewsletter.html

 

Express yourself completely.
then become quiet.
Open yourself
to heaven and earth
and be like the forces of nature:
when the wind blows
there is only the wind;
when it rains
there is only rain;
when the clouds pass
the sun promises to shine.
If you open yourself to insight
you are one with insight
and you can use it completely.
Open yourself to heaven and earth
then trust your natural resonses;
and everything will fall into place
                                               - Lao Tsu

---------------------------------------------------------------

if your message
will not fit a bottle
then let it fill the ocean
Speak
and let your voice be thunder
Cry
and let it fall like rain
release it all
until there is nothing
and there you are
Beyond the echo of your heartbeat
there you always were
only now
you see
your hear
Beyond knowingness
you know
you feel
Silent
madness of mind
be wild
be yourself
be
                 - Sajan

Remember me.

 

I will be with you in the grave

on the night you leave behind

your shop and your family.

When you hear my soft voice

echoing in your tomb,

you will realize

that you were never hidden from my eyes.

I am the pure awareness within your heart,

with you during joy and celebration,

suffering and despair.

 

On that strange and fateful night

you will hear a familiar voice --

you'll be rescued from the fangs of snakes

and the searing sting of scorpions.

The euphoria of love will sweep over your grave;

it will bring wine and friends, candles and food.

 

When the light of realization dawns,

shouting and upheaval

will rise up from the graves!

The dust of ages will be stirred

by the cities of ecstasy,

by the banging of drums,

by the clamor of revolt!

 

Dead bodies will tear off their shrouds

and stuff their ears in fright--

What use are the senses and the ears

before the blast of that Trumpet?

 

Look and you will see my form

whether you are looking at yourself

or toward that noise and confusion.

 

Don't be blurry-eyed,

See me clearly-

See my beauty without the old eyes of delusion.

 

Beware! Beware!

Don't mistake me for this human form.

The soul is not obscured by forms.

Even if it were wrapped in a hundred folds of felt

the rays of the soul's light

would still shine through.

 

Beat the drum,

Follow the minstrels of the city.

It's a day of renewal

when every young man

walks boldly on the path of love.

 

Had everyone sought God

Instead of crumbs and copper coins

They would not be sitting on the edge of the moat

in darkness and regret.

 

What kind of gossip-house

have you opened in our city?

Close your lips

and shine on the world

like loving sunlight.

 

Shine like the Sun of Tabriz rising in the East.

Shine like the star of victory.

Shine like the whole universe is yours!

                                                        -Rumi

 

 

--------------------------------------------------------

Can you now remember

what the mind worked so hard to forsake?

Are you living?  Are you dead?

Are you none of these?

you lie so still upon the ground

I look upon you and smile

breathe once more, you will see

sing for your suffering

dance for your despair

you are the sword's razor edge

tested in flames

coming home

 

the strain of madness

can hold you no more

the fire, nothing more to consume

your lover is here

to kiss your wounds

and pour the sweet wine

 

Awake, awareness practiced perfect

to hear the whispers of soul

the winds of ten directions

amidst the concrete cacophony

amidst the seduction of sound and fury

in courageous awareness of awareness

awakening falls like a plum from the tree

 

living death, the illusion of separation

castle walls, prison cells

running, hiding from devils

running from ourselves

 

still, there is a moment of choice

can you see for who you are?

or do you still desire your torment?

 

ripe plum, open, what you once thought were eyes

and the fading nightmares fall away

beautiful butterfly, they were your cocoon

 

you can still see and be of form

but need one, you do not

let it not possess you, but serve you

and the knowledge of who you are

light, dark

being, nothingness

 

Your heartbeat, echoes over canyons

melody of the way

harmony with souls that seek

the rhythm of lovers

who love, and die, and love again

 

So many choose the false

through choice or ignorance

crippled terror in asylums of mind

yearning hearts buried alive

 

why bother to speak?

words can no longer express

cry, laugh

moan in delight

dance in sweet silence

 

Oh, the brilliant light becomes you

another great light in the heavens

your light, draws the darkness awake

someone calls your name

                                                  - Sajan

I would like to let go of "worry" itself.  I would like to drop the self-imposed "pity party" mode of dreading a possible outcome.  The Master Christ reminds us that worry has never added a single moment to a man's life.  Society has so highly trained us in the skills that are negative that it takes a lot of energy to stop ourselves from unconsciously slipping into negative future fantasies.  I think the key to this, and many other things, is to be aware and in the present.  Worry exists in the future as regret exists in the past. Now and aware is to heal many things.

Early in the morning when the outside is quiet, or after exercise when the inside is quiet.  But I try to be able to do this at any time after something "spikes" in my awareness.